Such Sweet Sorrow
by Wildly Obsessed
Summary: A series of drabbles. Envy. Regret. Sorrow. Anger. Nostalgia. Romance. Day dreams and hidden thoughts. Leyton, Pathan, Lukesy & general character one-shots.


_1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do ten of these, then post them._

**AN: **I will definitely be repeating this exercise with other fandoms XD Or, actually, I may even do more of these for OTH and make this a chap fic of music drabbles ahaha

* * *

**Stuck in a Moment – U2 – 4:34**

Peyton couldn't silence her brain. She had been so determined to give Lucas his space without giving up the hope of one day being with him.

But she couldn't do that. She had to move on. It was time to accept that Lucas just couldn't love her as he once did; that he could not love her like she needed him to.

She couldn't stop remembering every moment the two had together; from nearly running over him to running away when he wanted more from her than sex, from crying in his arms time and time again, from the overwhelming contentment she had felt with him. She had been drunk on happiness when they were together and like a junkie searching for a familiar high, she had sought him.

Walking away from him at Tric was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do. It signalled the end of her grip on him.

And unknown to her, Lucas had sensed her presence and had by chance looked in her direction and had seen her retreating back. And despite all his love for Lindsey, he felt his heart squeeze just a little.

**Ordinary Day – Vanessa Carlton – 3:58**

Lucas Scott had been in love with Peyton Sawyer since before she had even known he existed. Truth be told, he was damn glad that the two of them were unobservant that night she almost hit him. Truth be told, he dreamt of the days where he would rush into her life, a vision of gallantry; he would be her white knight and rescue her from the cloak of sullenness that covered her.

She would be armed with her sketchbook, he would have his basketball and his books. Music blaring in that kick ass car of hers, they would sit together and talk about philosophy and her shitty life; they'd talk about her ass of an ex-boyfriend and his brother; they'd smile together as they rode off into the sunset.

And they would escape from their lives. They would be together. And she would care about him.

Of course, this was in the daydreams of an idealistic, fifteen-year-old Lucas Scott. He knew she never would smile at him, never would care. Why should she? He was only Lucas Scott after all, and she was _Peyton Sawyer_.

**Lights and Sounds – Yellowcard – 3:52**

It isn't hard to understand just how much it anguished Nathan Scott to be told that his injury would permanently remove any hope of being the basketball player he used to be.

It wasn't just the loss of the skill; it was the loss of the feeling of being a God. There was no other feeling like it. Maybe musicians get that same rush on stage, maybe actors get that rush at movie premieries. All Nathan knew was that in a game, he was fucking fantastic and nothing at all mattered in the world. His mind would blank, his problems fade.

People looked at you differently when you were as good as something as Nathan was. And now it was lost. He was a mere human like the rest of them. He didn't know what he was outside of basketball.

Walking into a gym no longer gave him that euphoria. And every single weight he lifted, every practice he went to, every painstaking routine he practiced- was it for nought?

**Honorable Mention – FOB – 3:28**

Lucas tried not to be a jealous little prick. It wasn't in his nature, after all. It was hard sometimes though. When he was a junior in high school, he used to look at his half-brother and hate him, yes, but he also couldn't help but envy him.

They had the same father, partially the same DNA. They had the same skill at the same game (and damn it, Luke was sure they had the same skill- he just didn't get to prove it, that was all). Yet Nathan had the glory. He had the varsity team, he had the amazing girl.

Of course it boils down to the girl. The girl Lucas couldn't help but think deserved better. Nathan had the life Lucas should have had.

And a few years later, when Nathan was married with a kid, when he was a shoo-in to be playing basketball in the NBA… Lucas couldn't help but feel that familiar childish envy. He couldn't get his book published. His girlfriend declined his proposal. He was alone and by all accounts he was a failure.

Nathan Scott had the life he should have had.

**Anthem for the Broken-hearted – Jamisonparker – 3:04**

Nathan missed Peyton when the two broke up. It hurt him more than any one would ever know that she was much more preoccupied with getting with Lucas than anything he himself had to say that night at his dad's house. Brooke had lied when she told him that Peyton wanted to get back together but truthfully, Nathan truly was interested in getting back with his ex-girlfriend.

She wasn't just a good fuck to him. Yeah, he didn't treat her well. But God, he sucked at expressing his feelings at all.

That night, he saw Peyton run out of a room in his house followed by a barely-dressed Lucas and he wanted to punch a wall. Thinking about his brother touching her, thinking about his lips on her… if this is what Peyton felt thinking about him hooking up with other girls, fuck he was beyond sorry for ever doing that even if they had always been broken up at the time.

Fuck, he missed her.

**Bowling Ball – Superchick – 3:04**

Lying curled up in a ball and trying to convince herself that Lucas really did mean what he said, Lindsey found herself crying for the umpteenth time that month. She wondered if she over-reacted, if the book had just been a coincidence. Maybe he was really over Peyton. Maybe it was her fault they weren't married. Maybe it was all in her head.

Lying curled up in a similar ball with similar tears, Peyton whispered to herself that she didn't deserve Lucas. He was so amazing and she had pushed him away, it was her fault. Of course he moved on. Of course. Lindsey was everything she couldn't be for him. She deserved this pain.

Lucas sat with his head between his knees and he knew finally how fucked up he was. He knew it was all his fault. And he wanted to kill himself for making the people he loved think otherwise.

**I Get It – Kate Voegele – 3:11**

Lucas never really understood heartache until this moment. Any concept of pain he had ever held before was shattered and redefined. How could he have ever said that he had been hurt? How could he ever have thought his heart was breaking?

He had been turned away from Lindsey again and time and time and time had passed. He closed himself up, ignoring the fact that he couldn't look Peyton in the eyes any more or that he hadn't written anything in half a year. Ignoring it all.

And then Brooke whispered to him that the guy Peyton had been seeing? It was getting serious. And then Haley had watched him warily as Nathan was hugging Peyton for some news that no one quite wanted to tell Lucas. And then Peyton was holding his hand as she told him that she was getting married.

Just like that he realized how damn wrong he had been all along. This was pain.

**Don't You Forget About Me – Simple Minds – 4:20**

No one bothered to keep in contact. No one wrote, no one called, no one visited.

He had been one of the most popular kids in school, you know. He had been the go-to guy for the star of the basketball team, you know.

But what did that matter? No one even noticed when he left. No one gave two shits.

Nothing confirmed that more when he saw them all again and none of them seemed even a little bit pleased to see him. Nothing confirmed that more when he walked away reluctantly and not one of them asked for his number, even though he had mentioned earlier that no one kept in touch any more. Looking at them all, he knew instinctively that they all kept in touch with each other. That they hadn't lost all their high school friends at the end of high school.

He guessed they just never really cared about him even during high school. He guessed he always knew that, under the false bravado.

Nonetheless, he cared about them. He missed them. He wondered about them.

Did Nathan even remember him anymore? Did his former best friend even think about him at all anymore?

He was so lonely. And none of them cared. It broke him just a little.

Tim closed his eyes and threw away his year book.

**Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley – 6:53**

"_If I said I loved you right now, would you hold it against me? 'Cause I've lost a lot of blood…"_

Peyton was thinking much too much for a girl who had lost a lot of blood. She should be blacking out right about now. But she wasn't. Her mind was flashing with memories and thoughts and regrets and the blinding, blaring shriek that if she was dying, oh God, had she ever wasted her life. She couldn't black out. She wanted to live, yeah, but more than that, stronger than that- she couldn't black out when Lucas was the one with her. Lucas, who she didn't talk to much anymore. Lucas, the first boy she ever loved.

She had to stay awake. And if she was about to die what point was there in ignoring the blaring siren call of her thoughts that made her resent herself for never having a proper chance with him? She loved him. She loved him. It was dumb and it was wrong and it was far, far too late. But he saved her. He always saved her and he smiled just right and he was so sweet all the time. He was so intelligent and kind, so romantic and so sensitive and so good-looking. His eyes would crinkle and it would be lovely and she loved him. Loved the way he looked at her, loved the way her name sounded from his half-smiling lips, loved the warmth and strength of his arms.

She was fading out. She was fading out and she just wanted to kiss him. If she could have one last feeling on this earth, it would be the feeling of Lucas Scott's lips against hers.

He promised her that she would not die.

She didn't quite believe him. Touching his face softly, smiling from the beauty of the kiss, Peyton closed her eyes.

She couldn't stay away anymore. Besides, Brooke would KILL her if she found out about the kiss… maybe it's all for the best…

She loved him.

And Lucas Scott cried, cried, cried as he was made to watch Peyton Sawyer die in his arms.

**Sorry – Maria Mena – 2:54**

"I'll do anything for you! I'll move away from Tree Hill, I'll stop seeing Peyton, I'll do anything! Please, Lindsey, please, please, I love you, I love you, I love you."

"_I'm sorry."_

Turned away. Shut out. Lucas went home, broken.

"I'll do anything for you! I should have said yes, I should have and I'm sorry and I'll do anything. Please, Lucas, please, please. I love you so much. I love you. I'll stay away, I'll give you space, I'll try harder. I'll be funnier, I'll be prettier, I'll eat more, I'll complain less, I'll love you. I will love you more than any one else could ever love you."

Lucas smiled at the fact that he had said the same words to a different woman. His heart broke for her. Pressing his forehead against Peyton's, he whispered that he wished he could love her like he did, wished he could accept her offer.

"_I'm sorry."_


End file.
